Category Archives: Ramblings

Cooper Doesn’t Know…

Its funny… Chubby girls seem to like me. Especially after they see who my mother who is… She’s Bariatric FYI…

Like they think I’ll accept them for who they are… Because they’re chubby (See (Redacted) or (Redactedl)…

Fuck that… I’m not a chubby chaser… She’ll just toss me when the first able bodied Euro dude who trys to smooze her ( See my mother)looks at her, because he thinks he can get her/my college money.
After seeing what happened to my dad… I don’t want to date the fat chick… I want to go with the skinniest chick that will go hiking every weekend with me. The one that has her shit in place. The one that is her own woman with all her ducks in a row. Then I’ll get a fucking awesome Ironclad prenup…
My mother wonders why I dig the Asian girls… Its because its the farthest I can get from her, physically. A reverse Freudian slip/Oedipus complex if you may… I don’t want to fuck my mother… I want to get as far as fuck as I can get away from her… I want to fuck the exact opposite of the bitch even if I love her dearly….

Geek Test

Is it weird that I noticed that she had a nintendo controller before I noticed that she just had a bra on?
Haha… Oh wow… And just while writing this post did I notice the pink thong…

Banana

You guys ever see the TV show “Weeds”? Netflix has the first two seasons available for streaming and its pretty amusing. Anywho, this one episode’s subplots involve male masturbation and its amusing and standard up until the guy recommends masturbating with a banana… Namely eating the banana then using the peel as a masturbatory device.

Sorta strange since I’d never heard of that particular technique before. Though it seems to make sense when you think about it. Anybody else heard of such a thing? Sounds like it could be a fun lead up to a blowjob since I would assume your penis would smell of banana instead of penis.

Anyway I’m heading down to the local grocery store after work today and gonna pick up a bunch of extra long bananas, So I’ll be back with a report later tonight or early morning.

Watchmen: Tales of the Black Freighter

Netflix delivered my copy of “Watchmen: Tales of the Black Freighter” earlier today… I liked it about as much as I liked the comic version. Its well written and the arts good it just doesn’t do anything for me personally… You know like midget porn. I can understand why its erotic I just can’t get a hard-on from it… So if you like midget po… I mean tales of the black freighter you’ll like the animated version.

Also included on the disk was a 60 minutes version of Under The Hood which was all sorts of awesome. Between all the shots of the actors who played the minutemen characters and the fact that Hollis and the newspaper man got a bunch of screen time it was all sorts good.

Status: So Far Up The Friend Zone’s Ass I Can See Light

Its a bad thing when the girl tellsĀ  you about her one night stand right?

Fuckin A…

Finally Watched The Watchmen

Okay so just saw the movie. Probably a couple spoilers ahead but I mean comeon the books been out for 20+ years now…

First off the Penis was a let down. The way the internet is buzzing I thought John spun it around like a windmill or skullfucked a nun with it. I mean come on it wasn’t even that big! Honestly though its the first time I felt the majority of the internet was being sorta juvenile…

Oh My God Penis!

Oh My God Penis!

Second Off…
Violence wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be compared to all the bitching I heard on the goddamn internet again. Sure that scene where Manhattan implodes the gangster and you see him on the ceiling got me for a second but otherwise.. Ehh
Third off…
Way to much bitching about the male nudity in general and not enough talking about Malin Akerman’s kickass tittays…

From a comic adaptation point of view I thought they did a pretty kickass job of it. Loved all the little background details though I’m a little bummed they didn’t show the full Burgers & Borsch sign at the end.
They did a pretty good job of making an entertaining 3 hour movie without unduly fucking with the plot.
I can understand why they took the squid out and set us up the bombs. It would have worked if theyd focused more on the missing peoples sub-plot but eh. I sorta like this version since it makes Ozy look a wee bit more thoughtful in his planning instead of deciding to drop a fucking squid in Manhattan.

Finally I thought the casting was pretty kickass all the way around though I wish Rorschach didn’t sound so much like the Goddamned batman of Christian Bale fame. Also thought Jefferey Morgan was all sorts of awesome as the Comedian and I wished he had more screen time though I also thought the same thing when reading the comic so ehh.

I leave you with this image to ponder over

malinwatchmen2

Thinking Of You

Cold hands on my dick

I wish they were yours, not mine.

Damn its cold today