Cooper Doesn’t Know…

Its funny… Chubby girls seem to like me. Especially after they see who my mother who is… She’s Bariatric FYI…

Like they think I’ll accept them for who they are… Because they’re chubby (See (Redacted) or (Redactedl)…

Fuck that… I’m not a chubby chaser… She’ll just toss me when the first able bodied Euro dude who trys to smooze her ( See my mother)looks at her, because he thinks he can get her/my college money.
After seeing what happened to my dad… I don’t want to date the fat chick… I want to go with the skinniest chick that will go hiking every weekend with me. The one that has her shit in place. The one that is her own woman with all her ducks in a row. Then I’ll get a fucking awesome Ironclad prenup…
My mother wonders why I dig the Asian girls… Its because its the farthest I can get from her, physically. A reverse Freudian slip/Oedipus complex if you may… I don’t want to fuck my mother… I want to get as far as fuck as I can get away from her… I want to fuck the exact opposite of the bitch even if I love her dearly….

Hungry Or Aroused?

Nutella

Honestly… Not sure if I feel hungry or aroused…

Sauce

Geek Test

Is it weird that I noticed that she had a nintendo controller before I noticed that she just had a bra on?
Haha… Oh wow… And just while writing this post did I notice the pink thong…

Banana

You guys ever see the TV show “Weeds”? Netflix has the first two seasons available for streaming and its pretty amusing. Anywho, this one episode’s subplots involve male masturbation and its amusing and standard up until the guy recommends masturbating with a banana… Namely eating the banana then using the peel as a masturbatory device.

Sorta strange since I’d never heard of that particular technique before. Though it seems to make sense when you think about it. Anybody else heard of such a thing? Sounds like it could be a fun lead up to a blowjob since I would assume your penis would smell of banana instead of penis.

Anyway I’m heading down to the local grocery store after work today and gonna pick up a bunch of extra long bananas, So I’ll be back with a report later tonight or early morning.

Do You Ever Feel Like Your Life Is Going Nowhere

Stole this from 4chans /R9K/ board. It’s inspirational in a fucked up sorta way.

Do you ever feel like your life is going nowhere, robots? Do you feel dread when your plans go wrong or hopeless when you have no plans remaining?

Adolf Hitler didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life, either. His dad would beat him and his mom died when he was 18. He had to repeat the sixth grade, he dropped out of high school, and he got rejected from college TWICE. He even lived in a homeless shelter after his welfare ran out. After that, he finally enrolled in the army.

It was at his darkest moment that Hitler finally saw what he wanted to do with his life. He was a soldier on the front lines, and he was blinded by mustard gas. During his period of blindness, he finally came to believe that his duty was to save Germany–even if he didn’t know how. It took him another two years to work out how to get involved, but once he did he rose through the ranks of elected office at a pace seldom seen.

So if you’re feeling despair, hopelessness, or confusion, just remember: if you work hard, you could become the next Hitler.

Watchmen: Tales of the Black Freighter

Netflix delivered my copy of “Watchmen: Tales of the Black Freighter” earlier today… I liked it about as much as I liked the comic version. Its well written and the arts good it just doesn’t do anything for me personally… You know like midget porn. I can understand why its erotic I just can’t get a hard-on from it… So if you like midget po… I mean tales of the black freighter you’ll like the animated version.

Also included on the disk was a 60 minutes version of Under The Hood which was all sorts of awesome. Between all the shots of the actors who played the minutemen characters and the fact that Hollis and the newspaper man got a bunch of screen time it was all sorts good.

Status: So Far Up The Friend Zone’s Ass I Can See Light

Its a bad thing when the girl tells  you about her one night stand right?

Fuckin A…